What I liked about the discussion of Genesis 24 on this week's panel as it relates to finding the right person - is that neither Isaac nor Rebekah were "looking" for the right person when God brought them together. Instead, they were becoming the right person for their future partner, and God brought them together at the right time.
The discussion of whether God has "one perfect chosen" person for everybody I thought was very good as well. I think younger people often like to think so, because it makes that relationship seem safer ahead of time. The problem, most people don't have the certainty from the Lord that this or that person is the "one." So making a commitment is always a matter of faith in God, in yourself, and in the other person. The idea that there is one person may be used as a shield to keep everyone away, or as a magnet to keep hanging on to a relationship that is not working. It seems healthier to me to keep the idea of the one person for me in the background, while I work on being the right person for my future spouse and trust God to lead me to a person I can commit to.
Of course, being married, I can testify that once you do commit to another, the question of who is the"one" becomes irrelevant. I have committed to this person, and, if was unsure about God's will before, I at least know what it is now.
The question of finding the right one leads to how much input we give to others - parents especially. I guess it depends on what kind of relationship you have with them - but if not your parent, it is important to get some honest outside input into your relationships, because we do not always see things (especially ourselves) clearly.
4 comments:
So much of us feel our way through relationships, in and out of them. The "one" is always who we feel attracted to, instead of who we deserve from establishing a strong foundation in our faith. Instead of searching for our love, learning what brings us closer to God may be the formula we should be studying to bring us closer to our "One."
I don't think we actually deserve anyone. If God chooses to lead us to a spouse we should be thankful but equally as much if He does not. Also it seems like we look forward our whole lives to that wedding day, the day that we will experience bliss and ecstasy. But what about planning our marriage instead of just our wedding?
For the sake of arguing, if we really don't deserve someone, why look? Seeking something we don't deserve seems to be contradicting, and claiming that God "led" you to a spouse (presuming you are married) you don't deserve seems to imply an overindulgent mindset or simply an excuse for justifying decisions you don't want to take responsibility for. We decide who we will marry and what we live with, who we...DESERVE. Who would ever say to someone they should be thankful for their abusive husband or cheating wife?
My question to you would be how? How would seeking something we don't deserve be a contradiction? That really doesn't make sense. It's actually a mindset of humility. I'm still going to seek a job even though I don't deserve it. We don't deserve anything. God owes us nothing and we can never claim entitlement. All that we have and recieve is a good gift of His grace. I agree that we should take responsibility for our choices, and stop blaming God for our mistakes, but to say that I deserve someone implies that someone "owes" me something, and I cannot bring myself to this end. I thought you were a Calvinist.
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